Christmas in Hell
by paleflower
Summary: Hellboy, Abe, Liz, and Krauss have two unexpected guests over for Christmas eve. Who are these mystery people and will everything end in complete chaos?
1. Paper White Strangers

I felt like writing a Christmas fic and since I have recently seen Hellboy 2 and fell in love with it soooo I decided to write as sort of weird Christmas sort of story about it. This might be really weird so I'm sorry if it is to your dislike (so please only comment if you like it). Well here you go and happy holidays everyone!

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Twas the night before Christmas,

And all through the lair,

The busy team baked,

And decked the halls with care,

Johan cooked,

And Liz made a fire,

While Red helped clean,

Because it was Abe's desire,

For tonight they had guests,

One friend one foe,

Unlike the rest of the team,

It was only Red who didn't know,

And now I will stop this poem,

Because I can't keep rhyming,

And poems like this,

Require good timing,

"So who is coming anyway?" Red asked Abe as he picked up and old beer can and placed with the pile of old garbage he was already carrying.

"Oh they are just some old friends of ours,"

"Can't you just tell me?"

"But telling will just take away the element of surprise,"

"You just don't want to tell me because you know I wont like it!"

"Well that might part of it, would you just keep cleaning they'll be hear any minute," the tone of his voice was nervous but at the same time anxious one. Abe only finished his sentence when Liz walked into the room.

"They're here!" she said.

"No. You invited Manning didn't you?"

"Well not exactly," Abe replied. Liz, Abe, and Red made their way to the entrance where they met up with Krauss. A few seconds later they saw the elevator start to descend.

"I can't believe you invited Manning, he is so boring! The guy is an idiot," Red muttered not really paying attention to what Abe had said, "What in the world made you even want to think about invit- oh my God!" when the elevator finally reached the bottom he saw two figures with paper white skin and blonde hair standing before him holding gifts, "YOU INVITED THEM!?!?"

"Hello," said Nuala. Before anyone could reply Red stepped forward and glared at Prince Nuada.

"Well what brings you here, your _royal assness_?" Nuada clenched his fists and made a small step forward when Nuala grabbed him by the wrist.

"Don't," she whispered to him in Gaelic (I can't figure out any other way to say that don't criticize me), "we are terribly sorry for being late,"

"No, no, it is perfectly fine," Abe said as he walked up to the princess.

"If everyone vould please follow me dinner is ready," Krauss said as he gave a small bow and began walking to the dining hall. The others followed and Hellboy walked with Liz a ways back from the rest of the group.

"He brought that spear?!" Red whispered to Liz.

"Maybe he needs it for… you know… protection,"

"Protection? Protection from what?"

"The way you're acting probably from you. But in all seriousness, Red, please don't do anything stupid,"

"Like what?"

"Um like starting a fight? Abe wants everything to be perfect and the last thing we need is for you to ruin everything by starting a fight with Nuada, plus Abe doesn't ask for much so be good,"

"Well last time I checked he was the one who nearly destroyed the whole human race by giving Nuada that crown piece,"

"Just be good!"

"Fine! I'll make sure everything goes perfect for him and his little girlfriend the princess,"

"Thank you," Liz kissed Red's forehead and continued to make her way to the dinning hall.

They all arrived in the great dining hall, which was decorated beautifully from head top to bottom. Abe took a spot to the left of Nuala and Nuada sat down on her right. Across from Nuada was Hellboy and Liz sat next to him.

"Dinner is served," Krauss said with a dramatic hand gesture towards the F.B.I. agents that carried out platter upon platter of food.

"It looks delicious," Nuala said with a small smirk. Everyone passed around the fabulous meal that Krauss and cooked single-handedly cooked.

"So demon," Nuada began before Hellboy interrupted him.

"What did you call me? Demon, was it?"

"Well what would you prefer?" Nuada said mockingly.

"You wanna make something out of this blondey?"

"Red!" Liz whispered.

"Brother please," Nuala said.

"At least I am intelligent," Nuada said coldly.

"Apparently you've never heard of the term dumb blonde," and with that all civilization collapsed between these two enemies. Nuada, spear not in reach, grabbed his steak knife and twirled it around his finger as he charged at Hellboy. Now Hellboy countered this attack by charging back at Nuada, his stone fist pulled back ready to nock Nuada into next year.

"EVERYBODY SIT DOWN!" Liz shouted as she burst into flames, "Would you two stop fighting!?! Lets at least try to get along," She eventually settled herself back down followed by Nuada who set down his knife and sat back down in chair. Hellboy then settled himself in his chair still frustrated. Hellboy and Nuada avoided talking to each other for the rest of dinner, but Nuada managed to find an interesting conversation with Johan Krauss. Nuala and Liz discussed relationships and Liz told her what to expect and the both laughed. It seemed that after that little quarrel nothing else could go wrong.

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Well that is the end of the first chapter of my Christmas fic. I had originally intended it to be a one shot but unfortunately it kind of became longer than I had hoped so the next chapter should be out before or on Christmas, no guarantees. Anyway I hoped you liked it and will read the next chapter. By the way I don't know how Nuada and Nuala survived so don't be a jerk and say, "oh Nuada and Nuala so died there is no way the survived" or something like that. Well happy holidays!


	2. Charades, Great for Bonding

Hello all it is Christmas Eve here and I am desperately attempting to write and finish this story before Christmas and so far… not going too well. Reason being I have one day to type this, not much time, and I don't know what the crap I'm doing story wise. Gah I should probably start writing and stop procrastinating. Okay and here we go!

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The rest of dinner went exceedingly well, not counting Red and Nuada's "little" spat. So after dinner they all filed into the library for a game of charades. The game had to be explained to the prince and princess because being decendents of a lost race of elves they didn't know much about human games, but they quickly caught on. Liz, Abe, and Krauss thought this would be a great bonding activity, especially between two enemies. Red could have said differently, originally the teams were supposed to be Abe, Nuala, and Liz versus Hellboy, Krauss, and Nuada, but Red wouldn't stand for it and exchanged Nuada for Liz. The game pressed on and even though the twins had never played before they got every one, Abe barely got the chance to guess and when he did it was usually because Nuada let him.

"HEY! They're cheating!" Red stood up and pointed at Nuada.

"Sit down agent Hellboy!" Krauss ordered.

"And exactly how are we cheating?" Nuada said casually as he sat back in a very relaxed matter on the couch.

"Well… I don't know,"

"Red they're bonded so they can sense what the other is thinking very easily," Abe said trying to defend Nuala.

"Why are they on the same team?!"

"Maybe because you put us there," Nuada said with a sort of _it's obvious_ hand gesture.

"You stay out of the prince Noob!"

"Red it's just a game," Liz said trying to stop the argument from turning into a bloody fight. Red furrowed his brow and Nuada gave a smirk that hinted the words _better listen to your girlfriend_.

"Aren't elves supposed to be in the North Pole at this time of year?" Hellboy said. Nuada growled (in a humane sort of way lol not like Edward Cullen in _Twilight_) and clenched his fists.

"Hmph no surprise you're on earth, probably because Satan didn't want you in Hell," Nuada muttered.

"Alright that's it!" Red charged at Nuada fist pulled back and he took his first swing at him. Nuada jumped back and Red hit the couch causing it to tip over. Unfortunately everything was so spur of the moment that Nuada didn't have enough time to figure out where he was jumping. So this resulted with him crashing into a bookcase. Hellboy continued to charge at him, once again Nuada jumped. This time he leaped over Hellboy and purposely kicked him in the head so he crashed into the bookcase.

"Ooooooh crap," Red said as the bookcase toppled over on him. Nuada grabbed his spear and started to twirl it, Hellboy lifted the bookcase off his back and dusted himself off. Nuada lengthend his spear and took a swing at Hellboy's head and nocked him backwards. Red grabbed a few books and through them at Nuada. Nuada dodged four, hit two, but unfortunately the last one caught him off guard and hit him in the stomach and he keeled over. Red came up to him to tell him that it was over but Nuada wouldn't stand for it, he grabbed his spear and swung at Red's leg. It hit him directly in the knee so he started to stumble. Nuada took the end of the spear and hit Hellboy under the chin. He fell backwards into a chair and Nuada briskly walked over to him with his spear touching his back. When he reached Red he spun it a few times and took another swing, this time at Red's head. Red ducked and grabbed the spear. Nuada jumped over it and kicked Hellboy in the face. After a few more minutes of fighting both Hellboy and Nuada had each other in a death grip, Nuada had the blade of his spear up to Hellboy's throat and Hellboy had his stone hand clamped tightly around Nuada's throat.

"EVERY ONE STOP!" Liz shouted. Red and Nuada looked over at her, "This isn't what Christmas is supposed like. It is a time of peace between enemies not fighting about if someone cheated in charades," both Red and Nuada let each other go.

"Agent Sherman is right," Krauss said. Nuada sighed and dropped his spear.

"Forgive me demon, your friends make a good point," Nuada said as he held out and open hand towards Red.

"No problem," Red shook Nuada's hand and the both smiled, "I guess I was being kind of a jerk," Nuada smirked. Eventually everyone sat down and Krauss decided to tell everyone the story of the very first Christmas. Eventually it was time to leave and Nuada and Nuala bid farewell to everyone and filed onto the elevator.

"Thank you for having us over," Nuala said.

"Maybe you could come back for New Years," Abe suggested. Everyone nodded.

"That sounds like fun," Nuala said as the elevator began to rise.

"New Years?" asked Hellboy, "Aw crap,"

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Finally finished. Sorry it took longer than I expected but I hope you enjoyed the last chapter. Happy New Years Eve!


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